No Words

I really wanted to blog today, but so many things prevented that. I just had to come on and write this:

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH BARCLAY

I wanted to eloquently write what is in my heart but I cannot find words. Today I thought that if I love him anymore than I already do, I will just die from bursting open. Well it's getting close to tomorrow and I am already feeling my love growing and my heart is just expanding. This time last year all I wanted was a baby and now I have one and people ask me all the time, "Is it what you expected?"

To this I say no. It isn't what I expected, but it is far better.

Forget the no sleep and the non stop crying...and the nine months of morning sickness and the 50 hour labor.

Even in spite of all that I would do it a thousand times over to have Barclay in my life. I don't think the love can be explained.

It's almost good Friday and my heart just breaks thinking about Mary watching her son dying on the cross. The anguish that she must have felt is unbearable to me! The little boy that she nursed and loved and raised, was dying for a sinful world...for me.

Tonight I laid the sleepiest little boy in his cradle and looked down at his peaceful face and thanked the Lord for the privelege to be his Mommy.