I have always ALWAYS been an all or nothing person. I wouldn't quite say perfectionist (especially if you saw my house right now), but even worse. If I cannot do it 100% I want to do it 0 %. It's both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing to things that I have time and energy to give 100% to and a curse because living a balanced daily life is not my favorite thing.
Even with how I eat I am all or nothing:
Last week I craved Avocados (I've always been a craver even before pregnancy).
So...instead of eating avocados incorporated with a nice balanced meal, I ate 10 avocados in 48 hours!
Thankfully I'm over that craving. Thankful because it was expensive and also maybe a tad fattening:-)
With my housework I'm all or nothing:
For some reason I like a room to get SO unbelievably messy that when I clean it, the transformation is completely noticeable.
For example, when I clean my kitchen I don't just do dishes and wipe of counters and sweep. I bleach the cabinets and get rid of unused appliances, I clean out the fridge and the freezer, and I reorganize things like utensils and Tupperware. I HATE just regular daily cleaning of the kitchen. HATE it!
With this baby, I am 100%...as I should be. But my goodness I am letting everything fall by the wayside. I don't have time, energy, or ...time to do pretty much anything 100% anymore. It's discouraging, but also I think it is forcing me to become a more balanced person. I'm really impressed with what 5 minutes free of holding a baby can do to a mess. And I don't have time to get too picky and perfect.
Every day I have such high hopes for myself and my day. I am just bursting with projects to finish, people to encourage, letters to write, things to clean, fun to have. And here it is 1:30 in the afternoon and all I've done is read and snuggle with Barclay. My kitchen is even messier, my laundry is overflowing (so overflowing that I can't remember what is clean and what is dirty so I have to do it all over again), and I'm still in a robe. I'm beginning to wonder when this, "I have a newborn" excuse is going to run out :-/
I think years from now when I'm looking back on this particular year of my life, I will remember cooing with my baby snuggled in my arms far more above undone tasks.
Tomorrow is Noah's birthday and I have a lot to do, so I better stop blogging for now.