Today has been one of those days where I feel like a failure.

I have failed as a supportive and calming wife.

I have failed as a loving wife.

I have failed as a listening wife.

I have failed as a patient mama

I have failed as a consistent mama

I have failed failed failed at disciplining Barclay

I have failed to have an inviting and welcoming home

I have failed as a housekeeper

I have failed as a cook

I have failed as a lovely, even tempered woman.

I have failed in my workouts which I had really worked on all week.

I have failed in my financial decisions.

I have failed so many friends.

I have failed so many family.

I am sitting here covered in yogurt from trying to feed my very stubborn baby. I'm worn down and all I want to do is lay on the couch, eat peanut butter cookies, and watch mindless TV.

I don't want to talk to my husband.

I don't want to discuss money

I don't want to discuss jobs

I don't want to think about the week ahead.

I don't want to change diapers

I don't want to bath a baby

I want to be selfish. I want to be alone for just one minute.

Uggg I'm disgusted with myself today. I truly hate the person I was today. I detest her.

If I were my husband I would want out.

If I were my baby I would want out.

But they are stuck with me.

I'm truly thankful that no matter how disgusting I am. No matter how vile and ill and sinful, God loves me and he sees me pure as snow. Because I am his. He lives in me. And nothing I do changes that.