Every single day that passes, things become clearer. This is not a dream. I went around the house picking up maternity clothes and replacing them in the Tupperware box, realizing that this is not a dream. I think last week, I got so desperate for some finality that I became a little bit numb. I stopped feeling emotionally and started thinking medically. For some reason, every day since Friday has become increasingly lonely and sad. Maybe it's the fact that it's really sinking in, maybe it's the fact that the whole world has moved on (like it should), maybe it's all the little comments that are like nails in my heart. (Trivial things like, "Aww what a precious little boy, is he your only child?"-asked by the clerk at Walgreens today). I read Myra's blog and on Sunday she posted this beautiful Hymn. The words, "Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal..." have been balm to my soul.
Come, Ye Disconsolate
Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish, Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel. Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish; Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Joy of the desolate, light of the straying, Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure! Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying, “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”
Here see the Bread of Life, see waters flowing Forth from the throne of God, pure from above. Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.