Being a Mom...lately

I'm sorry my past couple posts have been on the sad side. I promise I'm not in a bottomless depression.

Today I just felt the need to write down some of the newest things I'm experiencing as a mother.

*The other day, I was watching Barclay in his bumbo and he smiled at me. When he did, his eyes squinted and sparkled and I saw ME in him! Ever since he was born, everyone commented on how much he looked like Noah. And he surely does! But it was pretty spectacular to see myself for the first time in his little face!

*Barclay has started rubbing me every time he nurses. It is the dearest thing! His little hand goes back and forth and back and forth, until he's done and then he just lets go, looks up at me and SMILES so big.
It's nice to be rubbed:-)

*He is "talking" like crazy, and he gets so into it that he starts getting higher and higher in pitch. Then it sounds like he's in pain, when he is actually trying to get his point across:-)

*He is really into holding things. Blankets, wash clothes, hair!, softees. I holds them and rubs them on his face when he gets tired. The more tired he gets, the more he rubs until...sleep overtakes him.

*I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that I am everything to him. Well I know I'm not really everything to him, but he hasn't figured that out yet. I love that when he's in other people's arms, he follows me around with his eyes. I love that he'll be crying and then I go to take him back and he becomes calm. As an older sister to 6 and a constant babysitter, this is a nice feeling.

*I know that I would do anything, ANYTHING at all to keep him safe. I know that I could pick up a car with my bare hands, hike barefoot for miles, even die, just to keep him safe.

*I read a poem on my friend Jessica's blog, and one part described having a baby, as having your heart on the outside...this is the best way to explain it.