I headed down to my childhood hometown of Charleston this weekend to do some photography. It was a wonderful weekend, but also exhausting.
Just before you freak out, this test was negative.
The reason for this test was a pretty awful experience. I was photographing an engagment party and had already done a photo shoot that morning on the beach. I started getting a headache and feeling horrible! I kept photographing and kept smiling but I thought I was going to die my head hurt so badly!
When I had finished, I headed out and started crying on the way to the car. Not only was I sick, but I had a baby to take care of when I finally got to my car and drove to my Grandparent's house.
It gets worse...I'm crying and trying not to puke and when I get to the parking teller, I find out that the parking wasn't free and that I owed $5. I only had $1.50 and they didn't take credit card. I just started bawling and asked what they did with people who didn't pay. I guess the penalty wasn't so bad, but I had go back in the garage, and then walk two blocks to an ATM. I was crying and swaying...I'm sure people who saw me would think I was drunk. I finally made it without vomiting or getting raped and headed out.
Why when you want to get somewhere does every light turn red? And why when you want/need to puke, does every light turn green right when you pull up to it?
I was so sick and made it to a restaurant where my husband, baby, sister, and friends were eating. I grabbed the baby and my sister and some IB profen which was in my diaper bag there. Julianna drove me and the baby back to the house. Of course we pulled over several times, just prolonging when I could take a shower. And of course when we were on the connector bridge with no way to pull over, I puke and puke and puke and puke into my new dress (thank goodness it was long!...and very thick)
My sweet sister cleaned me up, took care of the baby and I just screamed and sobbed in a piping hot bath. I was sick for about 10 hours and then finally felt better.
Of course, with my past pregnancy I wonder...am I pregant? Surely not.
But of course throughout the day yesterday I kept hyping it up in my head and all the sudden had all the symptoms. By the time we pulled into our hometown in NC I was convinced and had already thought of baby names and who was going to take care of Barclay while I was sick for another 10 months.
I must say. I love babies. I want to have lots of babies. But I also don't like being so sick, especially when Barclay's at such a sweet age! That bought of sickness reminded me of how awful last summer/fall was. I was terrified.
So I went to our Ingles and was the last person they let in before they closed at midnight. A sign I thought! I was totally in la la land. I got the only pregnancy test they sold there and headed to the only cash register open, manned by a teenage boy. He was so sweet and asked me if I hoped it was yes or no. I said, I guess I will be happy either way, but I think I'd a be a little overwhelmed if it was yes because I have a fussy 3 month old right now.
I took it as soon as I got home and was happy to see the negative sign on it. Noah's response when I told him it was negative...
This was such a stark contrast to this time last year when all I wanted and prayed for was a positive result. I remember being devastated every time the test said negative.
So that was the drama of the last few days. Ending with me being very happy to have a few months with just me a Barclay, hopefully a year or so with just us.
But I do love babies...
But I do love babies...