Monday, March 15, 2010

My Will Be Done

Yesterday day I started spotting a little bit. Throughout the day, I became more and more worried. My mind was racing with the possibilities of the pregnancy not ending up with a precious baby at the end. I tried to put it out of my mind so not to freak out, but also be realistic with my expectations. In the middle of the night, the spotting got a little worse, and then I started having cramps. I laid in bed, wide awake. Praying out loud and crying. I was trying to say the words..."Lord, your will be done." But it kept coming out..."My will be will be will be done." Because I didn't want to even visit the idea that God's plan for me would be to loose this baby. After a bit of fighting, and crying, and just breathing. I prayed for the strength to utter the words..."YOUR will be done." And I could. And then a peace washed over me and I was able to sleep.
Thankfully today I have taken it easy. I've rested and not done much of anything and the bleeding has stopped for now. And thankfully it wasn't even enough to get checked out for. But of course I'm worried and probably will be until I see or hear a heart beat. And here in the day light, I still want to say, "My will be done." And I have to again pray for the strength to ask God for his will...


  1. praying for you. it was so so so good to spend some time with you and barclay this weekend :)

  2. Praying for you and Noah and your babies.

  3. OH Helen Joy! How I know what those feelings are like! And how hard it is to truly say and mean the words, "Your will be done!"

    "Dear God, I pray for Helen Joy that she can feel your presence and your peace surrounding her right now. Help her to know in her heart that you love her so very much and want only the best for her. I pray that you would give her the courage and the strength she needs to give everything over into your hands. In Jesus Name, Amen."

    I love you!

  4. I'm praying for you. I know what a scary time this can be. Love you.

  5. Oh hunny, I know where this is coming from and have caught myself in the same prayer for Isaac. It's just so hard to give it up. I'm praying for you . . .

  6. I am proud of you...its really the hardest prayer to pray..cause in your mind your taking it out of your hands and putting that little pot into the potters hands..but the reality is..that it was always in HIS hands you my sweet angel baby.


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