Saturday, September 12, 2009

This is it...for now.

I've been thinking so much lately about where I want my life to go. I don't want to get comfortable...or do I?

It's lead me to these thoughts:
My whole life, I've had goals. Finish high school. It's expected. After 1st grade, you go to second...and so on, until you find yourself at your High School Graduation. It is there you learn you are expected to go to college. Everyone asks you, "Where are you going to college?" So for four years (or more) you have a goal of finishing college. Following that you need a job, then for most people, a husband or wife is next on the list. Once you get married, people start asking when you'll have babies... It just never ends. You always know what goal is next in life.

I find myself done with all of that at a very young age of 23 3/4. There are no expectations of where to go next. It's wide open. That is wonderful and terrible all at the same time. Where to even begin?

From the time you can remember, people ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" For me, my answer was always, to be a mom.

Well here I am people. Everything has been checked off, I'm here in the stage of life where everyone works so hard to get to. And I'm lost. There is no next step planned (other than more children). It's weird, after almost 24 years of striving for what's next. I'm here.

This isn't to say that I don't have goals other than repopulating the earth. I'm not saying I've "made it". Or to say that those who haven't gotten married/had children haven't "made it". I'm just saying that today it hit me. All those times you think of, plan for, hope for, strive for...lead to here. This is my LIFE. I had better just stop worrying and enjoy it:-)


  1. Even though I don't have a real little one yet, (although our pup is being quite the handful this week!), I really know how you feel... I think I'm gonna have to write a blog now. You'll have to tune in ;)


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