Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Discipline Advice Needed

Barclay's at that stage. The stage where being a mother isn't all cuddly, cooing, sweetness. The stage where I know what I do or do not in regards to discipline will affect Barclay in every way, for his whole life.
I always hated that my mother called me a "strong willed child". I think James Dobson must have written about about that because many of my friends from my generation were also labled that. I hated it because I felt I was labled and could never break away from it. It was like I never had a chance to not be a strong willed child.
So I hate to say it, but I believe that this strong willed child has given birth to another strong willed child. I feel exhausted and sad at the end of the day because I've had to be strict and punishing to Barclay all day.

I'm going to go ahead and put these facts out there:

I believe that Barclay knows the difference between disobedience and obedience. I believe he can comprehend when he is doing somehting I've asked him not to. He sometimes even says "NO!" to himself right before he does it.

I believe in spanking.

I have "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and hope to read through it soon. But I have found out the pure GOLD that advice from experienced mothers is vs reading thoughts in a book.

So please share any advice you have in disciplining in an effective way.


  1. I think all toddlers are "strong willed". My kid is as mild-mannered as they come, but when I tell him to do something he isn't supposed to do, he has a famous Benjamin Meltdown. At this age, discipline is tricky because they can't really draw the association between action and punishment. And even if they know what they're doing will elicit a "NO", they don't understand why. I use redirection for now. Once they hit 2 or so, the power of positive reinforcement works wonders. I studied behaviorism (psychology) in college and have carried the principles in my career, and now as a Mama. You get a lot further with reinforcement than you do with punishment. In children, friends, co-workers, and lab rats!

  2. Hi Helen Joy! Little Tait is going through the very same stage, and it definitely isn't fun. We're really working on "cracking down" on him, and are trying to do some "training sessions" with him throughout the day to work on obedience.

    The absolute best book (seriously!) on child training is "To Train up a Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl. I really need to sit down and read it again. It's fairly short, and very inexpensive. It is completely practical and is full of great examples and ideas. I really can't say how wonderful this book is! If you get a chance to read it, I know you'd love it! : )

  3. I have had 4 kids his age so far so maybe I can muster up some advice...but what specifically are you frustrated/exhausted by right now?



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