Mom, Don't read this!

Today I was reminiscing about my early, blushing bride days. I got married at the innocent age of 19. That first summer, I wanted to be all a wife could be. I cooked and cleaned and made coffee. And one day, after my friends (who weren't married) convincing me, I decided to entertain my husband with a little...dance. Ok ok ok, a strip tease. I was embarrassed just thinking about it, and those who know me know that doesn't happen easily. It was the sole fact that I had to be SERIOUS about it that frightened me.
Now I can dance. I love to dance! But my dances are more of the...interpretive type? So I had a very good friend show me how to "try" to move my hips. After the lesson she handed me a burnt CD of rap songs. Because she knew that my CD case was filled with Josh Groban, Enya, and Violin Concertos.
So on "The Big Day", I practiced and practiced a routine to my newly burned CD. I didn't think this could be serious, but I was going to try and seduce my husband!
Noah gets home, I immediately sit him on the couch and tell him not to laugh. I turn on the music...I close my eyes and just start. After a few minutes, and a few articles of clothing removed, I was feeling good. I had made it past the silly stage and was cruising to a very happy ending. All of a sudden, at the climax of my performance, I grabbed onto our mantle and............................... it wasn't attached and came crashing down on me; an almost naked me. That crash of all our glass vases, picture frames, and such woke me up from my dancing stupor. I realized how silly I looked and how stupid it was for me to try to do this. I ran in the bathroom, sat on the toilet and cried on the phone to my friend. Both her and Noah were laughing for about an hour. And after an hour to feel sorry for myself and my failed attempt at seduction...I laughed too.
It is now my favorite story ever:-)

Ok, mom, I know you read. Just don't bring it up in front of me ok?