Today in church I was singing and all the sudden I gagged and next thing I knew...I had thrown up in my hands! Since I was sitting on the third row in front of EVERYONE, I tried to non discreetly nudge Noah out of my way so I could not make a scene. He thought I was wanting to snuggle or something because he wrapped his arm around me! I then had to basically bulldoze him to get out. Once in the bathroom I realize quickly that I was going to have another "station" here. So in one quick, almost graceful swoop...pants and underwear came off and I am now standing in our church restroom naked from the waist down, and vomiting...and peeing. A sweet friend came to check on me and jumped up on the toilet so she wouldn't see how awkwardly naked I was at that point. Not that she really could have seen me but you know, through that tiny crack...maybe.
Then I had to grab paper towels and clean the floor (which spread to the other two stalls) while naked. Because I kept vomiting. At the end of the ordeal I finally put my pants back on, got a drink of water and returned to worship. The whole time I was thinking, what is my deal? When will I get it together? And when, O Lord, is this nausea going to leave me for good?
Also in the same strand of story. Last Monday at my Great Uncle's funeral. It was hot hot hot outside. Midday in August in Charleston SC is quite warm and we were having the burial around 12:30. It was a sad day since he was such a special (Grandfather like) man to me. I was standing in the sun and witnessing one of the most moving moments I've ever seen as the presented the American Flag to my great aunt and thanking her for her and her husband's sacrifice to this country. Everyone lost it and tears were flowing freely. My tears were flowing so freely and so was a lot of snot. I got kind of dizzy and I tried to move away from the crowd to gather myself. My foot got caught in one of the large flower arraignments...a large cross made of Lillies. And we got all twisted up and were on our way to falling to the ground. I heard a huge, collective gasp and several people rushed to my rescue. Then I started laughing uncontrollably and crying uncontrollably because I was so embarrassed. That solemn moment did not last long. Thankfully several people told me they didn't even notice so maybe I didn't ruin the whole funeral.
At least life is never boring.