Monday, September 20, 2010


I feel like the moment my pregnancy nausea lessened, heartache took over and now I'm sick with a broken heart.

We have been surrounded by death these past couple months. My dear grandmother died in June. We got home from visiting my sister in CA and found out that night my Uncle Quaddy had died. We went to Charleston for the funeral and visitation and came back. After a few normal days, we found out our dear friend James was killed in Iraq. The days following were just heart wrenching as we watched (though facebook) his family and young widow deal with everything. We then went to Charlotte and spent an exhausting two days going to the visitation and the funeral. Both which were incredible moving and glorifying to God, but emotionally draining. By the time we picked Barclay up from a friends who watched him for the service and got home, it was midnight. Then Barclay who has been very fussy because of a very crazy and non schedule, schedule, was up until 1 am. I was drugged in bed trying to get over my 1 week long "crying head ache". Noah was up with Barclay till 1. Then at 6 am, Noah's phone range and we knew right away what it was. His grandfather had just passed away. After a day of dealing with extreme exhaustion, getting back to work, and grieving the loss of a grandparent (which as I experienced early this summer harder than you would think). We got some more news from a family member about a very difficult situation I can't really go into. So pushing aside grief and exhaustion we worked all day long on the phone to try to make sense of this situation. By the end of the day Noah and I were in tears and just too tired to make sentences. In the middle of yesterday, we were surprised by Noah's brother who surprised us from Korea. He didn't know that his grandfather had died until he landed. But what a week to visit! We almost couldn't celebrate his arrival because of the hurt and sadness weighing our hearts down.

Now in front of us, we have an 11 hr trip (one way) to Florida for the funeral, then the drive back. All of this is sandwiched in between the two big events I've been counting down to for months!

#1.We are finding out sweet pea's gender tomorrow and not finding out till our Gender Revealing party tomorrow night.

#2.We've been planning our yearly trip to visit friends of ours in Louisville, KY for months. We always have such an encouraging and fun time with them. Annie and I have been planning MAJOR consignment sale shopping especially since we are both expecting babies at the beginning of the year. AND I will know the baby's sex by then. I KNOW it sounds so trite and silly compared to all we have going on...but I just wanted one trip to be fun and drama free. I just was dying to go spend quality time with friends...and I've been dreaming of the deals I'd find.

We don't even know how we are going to work out #2 but we're trying to figure it out.

All in all, this has been the hardest year of our marriage...not marriage-wise but just situation wise.


The first of the year on a "vacation" to Florida to be a part of a friend's wedding, there was a huge ice storm in florida, it rained the whole time, and we all three got the flu.

After recovering from that, we realized that we were in major trouble financially as deals fell through and the "new normal" of the housing market set in. We learned a whole lot the next few months about saving and setting aside money for leaner times.

Then I got pregnant, and was sick.

Then I miscarried and was heartsick.

Then my grandmother died and we all got the nora virus and were sick for a week.

Then I got pregnant and then sick for the next 3 months.

Then we went to CA, which was a fun trip but also emotionally draining for reasons I can't go into.

Then my Uncle died and we went to Charleston.

Then our friend James died and we went to Charlotte.

Now we are dealing with the death of a loved grandparent and a crisis situation right smack dab in the middle of a time we've been looking forward to.

It's a lot to deal with but I am so thankful for a calm and loving husband and most of all that I serve a God who does not make mistakes.

1 comment:

  1. My heart hurts for you Helen Joy. I'm here for you if you need me! Love you!


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