Being a mother is frightening. To have so much influence over a person's life. To be responsible for teaching, training, and loving.
Today I was in a store and a mother pushed her little girl on the back of the neck and said very loudly, "I'm gonna beat you down". It completely grabbed at my heart. I cannot believe that a mother could treat their own child with such hatred.
Just this past week, several people have commented to me how wonderful it is to see the love I have for Barclay. It's so easy though! It's the easiest thing in the world.
Now I think to years from now, when he can talk back, and disappoint. I think about all how hard it will be to see him hurt, how hard it will be to watch him learn lessons. But I can honestly say that, I.Will.Never.Stop.Loving.Him. No matter what he does, no matter what he doesn't do, no matter what, I will always love him.
I sometimes get stressed out thinking about the fine line a parent walks between being an authority, and being a friend. Between disciplining out of love, and not disciplining effectivly.
"How will I know what to do?"
A sweet friend wrote me a facebook message when I was having a hard time in the early months of motherhood. She said, "Pray for Wisdom".
So tonight, I prayed for wisdom, and tomorrow I will pray for wisdom,..
Monday, August 24, 2009
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Praying for wisdom is good advice...also, you can read wisdom in God's Word, especially Proverbs is a great book for instruction about training children. Charles Bridges has a commentary on the book of Proverbs that is pretty easy to read and is a great resource for understanding it.
ReplyDeleteIt has always amazed me the way some people treat their kids. I admit, there have been occasions that I've raised my voice at Alina for a minute... always followed by guilt and "honey, mommy loves you, come give me a kiss. I'm just worried about you. you need to obey mommy."
ReplyDeleteParents, especially at grocery stores, make me sad. Many of them treat their kids as if they never wanted them - and maybe they didn't. I wish people were more responsible and viewed their kids as people and individuals with self esteem and feelings. It's like when parents slap their kids on anti-hyper medication - maybe your kid is just... energetic! Now, I'm sure that some kids somewhere need it but most of them just need a good parent to pay attention and discipline.
I can't imagine Barclay will ever think of you the way that child has to think of her mother. I think kids know when we want them and plan for them and our very lives revolve around them... even when it's trying and we loose our temper.