Being a mother is frightening. To have so much influence over a person's life. To be responsible for teaching, training, and loving.
Today I was in a store and a mother pushed her little girl on the back of the neck and said very loudly, "I'm gonna beat you down". It completely grabbed at my heart. I cannot believe that a mother could treat their own child with such hatred.
Just this past week, several people have commented to me how wonderful it is to see the love I have for Barclay. It's so easy though! It's the easiest thing in the world.
Now I think to years from now, when he can talk back, and disappoint. I think about all how hard it will be to see him hurt, how hard it will be to watch him learn lessons. But I can honestly say that, I.Will.Never.Stop.Loving.Him. No matter what he does, no matter what he doesn't do, no matter what, I will always love him.
I sometimes get stressed out thinking about the fine line a parent walks between being an authority, and being a friend. Between disciplining out of love, and not disciplining effectivly.
"How will I know what to do?"
A sweet friend wrote me a facebook message when I was having a hard time in the early months of motherhood. She said, "Pray for Wisdom".
So tonight, I prayed for wisdom, and tomorrow I will pray for wisdom,..