It's been 16 days since I became the mother of two. I still cannot believe that Sullivan is here and that our lives as a family of four have begun.
It's crazy to me that you are pregnant for so long and then all of a sudden in a crazy day or two, you just aren't. And you suddenly have a whole new person there with you all the time.
I can't tell you how scared I was that I wouldn't love Sullivan as much as I did Barclay. I just couldn't imagine that I could. Not only have I been growing in my love for Barclay every day for the past 2 years, but he was my first...and I just didn't think that I could have that feeling again. Aside from the traumatic birth and the not getting to bond for a few hours, I can say with certainty that I do love little Sullivan as much and with the same giddy feelings I had with Barclay. I can't explain it but my heart just made room.
Sweet little Sullivan is SUCH a good baby. I know we are still in the "honeymoon period" so I can't say it with certainty but he appears to be a relatively good sleeper and he doesn't seem to have any tummy problems so far. Even this early in the game, Barclay was screaming all the time and not sleeping. Sullivan is such a snuggler and is constantly wiggling and grunting to get closer to me.
I have said so many times how much I love breastfeeding. This time around has been beyond wonderful. It was like I never stopped with Barclay it just came so naturally. I love it because I have to take time every few hours to just sit and stare. To just take in every tiny bit of this new little person. Sullivan has the most beautiful olive skin, the most precious nose, the most dainty mouth, the softest cheeks. About a hundred times a day, I just burry my nose in his neck and kiss away. I know I'm babbling but I feel like a love-sick little girl who is just giddy about a boy at school.
I cannot believe how well I have been doing with TWO babies to take care of. Now my husband might fight me on my choice of words since our house is STILL in disarray. But I have been so thankful that the Lord has given me extra extra patience and extra endurance. Barclay has been sick since Sullivan was born and so we have been dealing with a sick toddler and a newborn. I cannot BELIEVE how many diapers I clean up a day. I really feel like the second I clean something up, another chaos is created. But despite all of the craziness, I haven't felt this peaceful and patient...ever. I am so content and happy to be feeling good and I just feel SO blessed that I have two healthy, sweet boys that the Lord has entrusted to me to raise. I really cannot believe it sometimes.
Sorry this post has been all over the place, but both boys are asleep and I just had to type it out fast!