Saturday, October 16, 2010

Oh Lord. I cannot do this anymore! I feel so unworthy and unprepared and just plain overwhelmed at being a mother right now. Please give we wisdom because I cannot do it on my own.
Barclay has seriously be crying for hours on end, every day for 3 weeks or so. I am worn to the bone, I feel like jumping off a bridge, and I don't know what to do.
Why? Why did I get "stuck" with the baby who cries all the time. Why did I get stuck with a baby who is hard to figure out? I am so tired of everyone basically telling me it's my fault. That he's this way because I'm not more strict with him. Or that the solution is to discipline him more. I feel like there is something a little more to all this than rebellion.
I just want to go to sleep at night knowing that I will have a good nights sleep. Instead I am constantly woken up at all hours, with a baby who cannot be comforted. I have let him scream himself silly for an hour to see if he could get himself to sleep, and yet here I am at 2:01 am and he is still at it.
I just want to fix it! I just want to make him feel better. I HATE not knowing what to do. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Why is this so hard? How do people do it and make it look so easy?
I cannot do it anymore, so I need your strength, Lord.


  1. Are you okay?? I'm a stranger in Australia, worried about you after stumbling across your blog! Have you heard of Duncan's Baby Language? A lady in Australia has researched and found that babies have reflex sounds they make for different pains/reasons - google it, it might help you understand why your baby is crying?? I'll pray you find some relief. I'm a new mum again with my fourth baby and i'm still figuring out how to keep my little one happy. But this has really helped.

  2. Big hugs, HJ! Trust your instincts. You're a wonderful mother. Everyone disciplines differently, and if you believe it's something more, it probably is. No one knows your child better than you and Noah do, and everyone is quick to hand out advice. (Kind of what I'm doing too, but at least I'm being nice.) I would bring you food and physical hugs if I were nearby.

  3. It's probably nothing more than a phase. My nephew went through it at that age too. Don't beat yourself up, you are a great mother. Does he respond the same way to Noah? I am a nanny to 7 month old twins and one of them sounds like he's going through what Barclay is to the tee. It's so frustrating and I cry daily with him, frequently having to set him down in the crib and sit on the porch to regain my composure. Do you have someone to watch him for you to give you a break? You're not alone. Praying for you.

  4. Hang in there Helen Joy! Trust me, I know it's rough! And it's amazing how being pregnant has made patience a little harder to come by for me. It's so hard when you have no idea what's wrong or what to do to fix it. These kinds of complications with Barclay will be over someday. Hang in there! Praying for you....

  5. Sometimes, for unknown reasons, there are babies who just don't sleep through the night til after they are two...All you can do is be patient, calm and consistent. Make a plan and stick with it, only you and your husband can do that. Whatever approach you decide, stay with it, waffling and changing it up confuses them, which is worse in the long run. There is no other job on earth more trying or difficult, more rewarding or satisfying than being a parent.

  6. Emerson has been crying lately in the middle of the night!! She woke up twice last night screaming!! Maybe it is a stage and hopefully they will grow out of it!! I will say a prayer for you!! It is also harder when we are pregnant because we are tired hormonal!

  7. Concerns from Thailand. If you or your husband ever need to unload your troubles I will gladly listen and try to be of as much help as I can. Hope today you get a bit more strength you're asking for. Thanks for being so incredibly candid with your personal issues!


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