Silly Little Blessings

So far 2010 has been a very hard year. I have felt like God has be "out to get me" a couple of times. I think just having that mindset in my head has really affected how I view my life and each daily challenge or task. Almost MAKING life harder than it is because of my attitude. Last week I just was so frustrated with life; with mothering, with being a wife, with being a friend. Everything was so hard from the moment I woke up till the moment I lay down. I almost wanted to run; run far away from responsibilities, bills and decisions. Just to be free from the daily grind.

It's funny how God can speak to me in my busy life even if I don't make time for Him. Even if I'm doing something totally mundane.

Today after a frustrating morning of errands, I had one last stop to make with Barclay. The grocery store...my nemesis. I was dreading it and it was apparent I was already set up for failure. I was just waiting for the temper tantrum or the fruit I'd knock over, or the debit card I might have left in the car. We walked in and Barclay's eyes just light up with wonder as he saw all the helium balloons at the floral department.

"Bloooon! Blooon!" He excitedly squealed.

In that moment I realized that I could have moved on and gone to get what I needed. Or I could stop and get him one. Because I was his mother and my job is not only to nourish him, protect him from danger, teach him right from wrong, my job is also to delight and bless him. So I bought him a $2.00 Curious George Balloon which he hugged and kissed and loved on. It didn't stop him from fussing or me from forgetting the main ingredient I needed. But it gave him joy and I had a heart bursting with joy watching how excited he was.

In that grocery store God really reiterated (like he has this whole year), that yes, He has his plans for me, and often times they aren't what I have planned for myself or my family. Often times I get sad or downright mad that things aren't working out. But it reminded me of the many times I have to take Barclay away from doing something so fun (like sticking my barrette into the outlet behind our bed), because I know it isn't best for him. And I have so many other wonderful things for him (like swimming, playing ball, petting a dog). But he can't see past it. He only sees it as I am out to get him and take away from all his fun. But how BEAUTIFUL it is to bless him. And I know God wants to bless me, and DOES bless me every single day. I just need to focus on that instead of the frustrations.

And just when I was leaving the grocery store, the cashier from Starbucks (I had pined after an ice coffee when I came in for about 1/2 a second and moved on), ran outside and brought me a sample of an ice coffee. I must have smiled so big because as I sipped that coffee out to the car and I realized how God must have been enjoying the joy that silly little blessing brought his child.