Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Turkey Trauma!

Remembering Thanksgiving as a child, everything was perfect. Classical music drifted overhead, good smells and spices saturated the air, family. Perfect.
I cannot believe that TRAUMA my mother went through early every Thanksgiving that went unnoticed.
Two years ago, I did my first thanksgiving ever. I was so excited about...basically being my, making a warm home, serving everything in my new yellow apron.
No one prepared me for the turkey and how traumatic it was! Lord have mercy! I remember it was about six in the morning, and I was sitting on the floor, holding a raw turkey between my legs, I was crying and vomiting at the same time. I was screaming for Noah to heeeeeelp me, but help never came:-( I laughed this morning thinking back to that day. I WISH Noah had videoed it!
Tonight I had major turkey trauma again as I prepared for my second Thanksgiving. A violent, primal grunting and sobbing and freaking out overtakes me as I reached in the turkey's butt and retrieved its organs and NECK!:-( I seriously almost passed out. Why oh why do they put those things in its butt? Why not throw them out or keep two for the random two people who might actually eat them! I then realized that my huge 24 lb turkey was way too large for my pan, so I had to work up a ghetto set up for it to work involving crock pot bags.
The worst part of the experience (and I think it is because childbirth is still fresh in my mind). I felt like I completely violated that Turkey as I lifted it's leg and began to stuff it with veggies. That poor turkey was experiencing all the discomfort of labor and delivery with none of the great outcomes. Ok, I know the turkey was dead:-( (waaaaaaaaaaaa!) and wasn't aware of the awkwardness of the situation but it made me physically sick.
Boo on preparing the turkey.
Hopefully tomorrow my memory will be erased and I will be able to actually eat some along with the other delicious sides I have prepared and which didn't kill part of my soul in the process.
Thank you mother for all the mornings you woke up and went through all that so I could have turkey on Thanksgiving. Barclay, you may not be so lucky...


  1. you just crack me up!!!! I cooked our own little family thanksgiving for us tonight before we go to my in-laws in the morning and did a ham... i'm too scarred from last year's turkey to make one!! This evening I also thought to myself....I SHOULD HAVE THANKED MY MOTHER MORE!!!

    I think it's very well true that we can't fully appreciate our mother's until we have a child of our own!

    Love, Jessica

  2. I remember the turkey in Mexico hahahahahah remember? over Daniela's house! it was great! great great memories HJ!


  3. there was a NECK in the butt??? that makes me want to throw up just thinking about it!

    I have only made one tukey before...but it was neckless thank GOODNESS!!!

    I hope you can ENJOY IT!! =)

  4. HAhahaahah Helen Joy this is awesome. I did my first Thanksgiving on my own last year...we were supposed to eat at 2pm but because of my insane turkey planning we didn't eat til 7pm & I was SO stressed out that I'd consumed an entire bottle & a half of chardonnay before we'd even started!!! Ah, memories.

  5. Wow HJ buy the turkey breast for real!!! I've never bought a whole turkey - you can buy just the breast and it serves like 10 people. You can even buy it still on the breastbone and it leaves a nice large middle spot for stuffing. I've never tried cooking a 24lb turkey - Gosh, how many people did you feed?!?!

  6. I didnt stress out over making the turkey at all. Then I read about removing the neck and ebgged for my husband to help. He wouldnt. I did it. Preheated the oven, loaded the turkey in. Came back a few hours to check it--SOMEONE HAD TURNED THE OVEN OFF!!! WHY??? No one will fess up but it sounds like someone wanted to see the time and turned the oven off to do so :)

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