Friday, June 17, 2011

Being able to think

I am writing this from a hotel room where Sullivan and I have had a full 24 hours to ourselves. This has involved laying in bed, swimming, eating, repeat. Noah had a conference in GA and a hotel paid for so we left Barclay with my mom( thanks mom!) and came to enjoy the hotel while Noah is in meetings.

Oh my goodness I needed this!
I was beginning to go a little crazy. Like I felt like every second of my life was taken up. I have been running around like a crazy woman for the past six weeks. My mind was muddled and I couldn't make decisions, and I was overwhelmed with the desire to be better at everything, to strive for improving the millions of aspects in my life that are so sub par. I just felt like my life was always going to be so crazy that I couldn't ever ever ever catch up.

It's amazing what 24 hrs of being able to think has done for me. I still feel overwhelmed and tomorrow I jump right back in the craziness. But I am just encouraged, this is a season. A crazy, chaotic, non stop, precious, FUN season. One I'm sure I'll look back on and wish with all my heart I could have back. My main thing is I'm determined to press through and just do what I can. I have got to stop getting discouraged. I will drown if I stop.
I have really gotten to fall even deeper in love with Sullivan. What a blessing to just be able to play with and love on the little guy without a big brother tugging at me, begging for attention.
And starting in about a half hour I have 24 hours with my husband too! We need it. I feel most days we are just working together to just keep the children alive and trying to barely stay afloat. I think snuggling and talking will be a welcome reenergizer. I love him so much!

If you had told me when Barclay was little, that I would think thy being in a hotel with "just" a baby was a blissful vacation, I would have thought you were crazy! But this little guy is nearly perfect:) Amazing how perspectives change.

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