Saturday, February 12, 2011

I just want to run away. Far far away. I want to grab my hospital bag, and jump in our car with my soaking wet hair (from countless baths today) and mismatched socks and clothes. I want to drive far away from my friends and family. I want to go to a place where I don't annoy anyone or bother anyone with my "sensitive uterus".

I just want to leave everyone so that they can get back to their lives and I don't have interrupt or interfere with them.

I want to go far away from anyone who will recognize me, far away from people who ask how I am feeling...because I cannot give a nice answer.

I am really really really having a hard time lately. I feel like my life (and the lives of those I love) have been put on hold for two months! I am tired of complaining, tired of hurting, tired of thinking.

Days go by like minutes and I am left in my bathtub clutching my swollen, achy stomach wondering how I can go another day.

I just want to be able to call up family and friends once I am in the hospital and I don't want to have any contact with anyone until then...because I know I annoy them. I know they roll their eyes every time I groan with a contraction. I know they are all just sick of me being sick. I am sick of me being sick. I am sick of me.

I probably wont be on facebook or blogging until this baby decides to be born, only for the sole purpose of saving myself the embarrassment of being a winy baby.


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