Friday, July 15, 2011

About to loose it!

I am about to loose it.

I'm about to leave this house and run outside in the rain and scream for a good long minute.

Uggg. I am TIRED. Like I want to crawl in a hole, too tired for a nap to fix it, TIRED. I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep!!!!

This is day three of Barclay getting out of his bed and playing in his room and not napping...aka I don't have my time to get things done because every five minutes I am disciplining.

I am SO tired of disciplining I could cry. It never ends. NEVER. I feel like when I'm at my wits end and just want to let Barclay do whatever he wants because I just can't spank or talk to him anymore, but I have to press forward and keep disciplining or it will never get better.

Sullivan has cried all day for two days:-( I don't know what's wrong.

Noah is constantly frustrated at me for things I don't feel I can do any better. I am just a big screw up.

I'm so tired of just trudging forward even though I'm tired. I'm so tired of being the mean mommy that is CONSTANTLY saying no no no when I want to just dote on him.

I'm tired of everything being hard. I'm tired of my dad and his constant complaining to me. I'm tired of taking care of everyone. I'm tired of cooking and CLEANING!!! Geez, I feel like all I do is clean and it never gets clean.

I'm tired of being hungry, because my crazy appetite cannot be quenched. I'm so tired of thinking and planning and goal planning and bill paying.

I'm tired of my marriage feeling like it's last place because at the end of the day I'm just too tired to work through things.

Uggg I just to sleep.


  1. From a mother who has been there done that....this too shall pass!!!! I know this is of little comfort to you now....but please try to remember in the craziness of this stage that it will not last forever.

    As for the discipling...yes, when you have little ones there are days and even weeks that it seems all you do is discipline children. And could I encourage you by saying if you are consistent and work hard in disciplining your children now when they are younger there will be a lot less headache and hard work when they are older? If you are will pay off! There will be fruits to your labor.

    Blessings, hope today is a better day for you. Rosalie

    And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. Matthew 10:42

  2. i want to give you a big fat hug:( praying for you!

  3. I know exactly what you're saying about the discipline. We've been going through that stage here too. I feel like I'm stopping every 2 minutes to discipline one of the boys. We've really noticed that things to in cycles: you go through a stage where it just doesn't seem like you're getting through or making any progress whatsoever. And then, there's that nice little breakthrough when things finally "click" and improve for awhile. And then a new issue comes up and back in the disciplining-every-2-seconds stage. But it does get better! : ) I have to keep telling myself that. :D

    I'm right with you on the cleaning too! I did a major house cleaning today, and I kept having to push out of my mind the thought that "well, it's just going to be dirty again tomorrow and need another major cleaning a week or two from now!"

    We both will get past this stage though. Our little guys will grow up and be able to help with things - or even just do them completely for us! :D And then we'll be wishing they were babies again. : )


  4. These all are passing clouds. Donot worry. Everthing will be alright

  5. I don't know how that feels like but I pray that you have the strength and patience for everything. 18 years later, when you see them all grown-up, you can tell them this story and have a big laugh and hug moment... :)

  6. Hang in there... I just read your post and I can honestly say Ive been there done that... It does and will get better...I understand that is no consilation to what you are going thru right now but trust me on this ... things will get better... I am a single mom of 3... now ages 19, 17 and 15.. been a single parent for over 13 years... God Bless and Hang in there

  7. Helen Joy, I know we don't actually know each other but I've been reading your blog for years now thanks to Rachel L.H. so I feel like I know your heart. My heart really aches for how overwhelming your life is currently, especially with a sleep deficit. I teach preschool and there are days I am so frustrated with disciplining kids and my inability to teach them better behaviors. I try to record episodes of Super Nanny because Jo does such a great job of staying collected and in control of herself while a child throws a tantrum. The show elapses enough time to show the fruits of her labor. Sometimes just seeing her success inspires me to push through and reminds me that this too shall pass.


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