I'm about to leave this house and run outside in the rain and scream for a good long minute.
Uggg. I am TIRED. Like I want to crawl in a hole, too tired for a nap to fix it, TIRED. I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep!!!!
This is day three of Barclay getting out of his bed and playing in his room and not napping...aka I don't have my time to get things done because every five minutes I am disciplining.
I am SO tired of disciplining I could cry. It never ends. NEVER. I feel like when I'm at my wits end and just want to let Barclay do whatever he wants because I just can't spank or talk to him anymore, but I have to press forward and keep disciplining or it will never get better.
Sullivan has cried all day for two days:-( I don't know what's wrong.
Noah is constantly frustrated at me for things I don't feel I can do any better. I am just a big screw up.
I'm so tired of just trudging forward even though I'm tired. I'm so tired of being the mean mommy that is CONSTANTLY saying no no no when I want to just dote on him.
I'm tired of everything being hard. I'm tired of my dad and his constant complaining to me. I'm tired of taking care of everyone. I'm tired of cooking and CLEANING!!! Geez, I feel like all I do is clean and it never gets clean.
I'm tired of being hungry, because my crazy appetite cannot be quenched. I'm so tired of thinking and planning and goal planning and bill paying.
I'm tired of my marriage feeling like it's last place because at the end of the day I'm just too tired to work through things.
Uggg I just to sleep.