September 7th resolutions.

Man. People told me that time passed quickly when you had children. I did NOT find that to be the case with Barclay. In fact, I feel completely and totally secure that I treasured every moment I could in every stage with him. I always left a stage feeling so satisfied. But MAN, as soon as Sullivan was born my life began this BLUR stage and I don't like it one bit. Seriously. Every single day is just GONE. I get hardly anything done and I blink and it's gone! I am left reeling as I see my little Sullivan who I thought was just born, turn into this wide eyed, scooting and soon to be mobile little man. How did I get here. I faintly remember the summer but it's like a dream that you sort of remember and yet can't quite get a grip on it.

Does having three children make it go faster?

I'm not one for cheesy quotes but I saw one that really stuck with me, recently on my cousin's fridge: "How you spend your days is how you spend your life."

I've been really stuck in a rut lately. I don't know what I am waiting for but I so desperately want a fresh start. New Years Resolutions are too far away and I usually don't keep them anyways. I missed the first of the month. I feel like I'm waiting for magical, fairy elves to appear one day and do every single thing on my to do list and then hand me a brand new day where I can just start doing everything AWESOME from here on out. I'll wake up before the children and get ready for the day, I'll be able to exercise and keep things organized. I can cook and eat healthy and loose weight and play with the kids and make pamphlets for my business (something I've wanted to do for years!). Or I am waiting for days to magically have 30 hours in them instead of 24.

But the truth is, no fairy elves are coming and every day, as I said before, is flying by me. So I guess on this random Wednesday in September I'll just try to do what I can.

Why don't I just GET this lesson? Why do every 3 months or so, I have to sit down and blog about all I cannot get done and then *lightbulb moment* I realize I just have to start doing and stop looking at all I'm not doing.

Here are my September 7th resolutions:

1.PLAY with Barclay. I am so blessed to have a lot of help with Barclay. In fact, I have people just lining up to take him to the park or to the pool or lake. Seriously, I am so blessed! Nearly every day someone takes him "off my hands" for a couple of hours. BUT, I feel like that leaves me with all the sad things about parenthood (aka discipline or just basic keeping them alive and clean chores). I get sad and jealous sometimes that everyone gets to play with him, while I get to check things off my list (glorious things like grocery shopping and cleaning toilets and editing). I am determined to get down on the floor and play with him. Or to take opportunities to leave Sullivan with Noah or my sister and take him to the playground (even though I will never not have stuff to do).

2.I'm also resolved to loose about 20 pounds. Man I struggle with this so much! I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds several times since Sullivan was born. I did so good on WeightWatchers and lost every single time I did it. Trouble is I got lazy and didn't want to count anymore and I have not lost anything since I stopped. So I am just going to buckle down and deny myself from eating any freaking thing I want. Why? Well mostly because I want to wear cute clothes this fall, and also because I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I don't have to accept myself as the adorable, curvy, girl who has a great personality. I can also be the adorable, fit and sexy girl with a great personality;-)

3.I am also resolved to hire someone to clean my house once a week. Noah and I have been fighting about it for years but I am now desperate enough to do it. So if anyone has any good recommendations of someone who doesn't judge people based on how messy their house is, shoot me their info!

4.And my last little resolution is to clean out my fridge every week. I did it every monday for about a year in 2010. It really helped me to meal plan, not waste food, and just generally feel like I wasn't drowning. And when I did it every week it saved me from the dreaded biyearly cleaning which is A LOT more traumatic. I cleaned out my fridge today and it was BAD! Not only that but I discovered that I have 4, FOUR, containers of cottage cheese (all not expired) and guess what?! I bought some cottage cheese today at the store, because I forgot about the other ones. So in the end it also saves money.

Here's to doing what I can every day, even if I can't do it all!