Breather

Today is my first day in like a month where I am sitting here and realizing that I don't have anything scheduled today. It has been non.stop. We went from a whirl wind season of fall photography (I did 6 photoshoots in a week!), to a ton of doctors appointments and finding out about Sullivan having some pressurizing problems in his ears, to having last minute surgery, to flying to CA with two babies and all the non-stop-ness that comes with that (multiplied with time change...yikes) to back to photoshoots and sickness. A whirl wind trip to Savannah to cheer on my friend Melanie in her first Marathon! To a wedding, and then my dad (who I am totally responsible for now) having total hip replacement surgery....and all the long hours preparing for and after entails. To more photoshoots and editing. And on top of all that a LOT of drama with my sister and her husband. All multiplied with the most temperamental toddler and a fussy 9 month old who wakes up several times a night. It's all a lot. A lot. And there hasn't been a moment to sit back and cry.

Sometimes when people complain about being busy or stressed out I just want to laugh.

I do want it to slow down and I want to be able to give more to my family and friends than my distracted stressed out half brained attention.

I went to baby shower for a friend from college this past Saturday and I came home and Noah asked me how everyone was and I couldn't tell him one thing. I was so out of it!

Things are looking up. I have committed to start cutting back on photoshoots in December. We hired someone to clean our house once a week ( a MAJOR MAJOR humbling experience for me). That has significantly decreased marital tension and it has helped me SO much to keep up. The holidays are around the corner and I am SO thrilled to be able to spend it with my family.

I feel like there are seasons of my life where it is non stop, one thing after the other, people think I'm lying it's so crazy. Glad to be leaving that season and on to one with boundaries and taking it slower.

All my blogs in one

I've written 1/2 of a zillion blog posts and they all sort of look like this:

Im tired
I love my children
I adore my children
My children cry all the time and drive me crazy
I am crazy
Will I ever sleep?
Why does everything I do feel like trudging through mud
I'm tired
I wanna kill almost everyone I come in contact with because they sleep...including mom's of brand new babies
Why do my children hate sleeping?
I eat a lot
I want to eat more
I am freaking tired!

The end

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dear Sullivan

Dear Sullivan,

I think I've fallen in love with you a thousand times over this past month. I do NOT think you can be any more delightful! It finally clicked with you yesterday and you are crawling everywhere. You crawl like a drunken sailor though! Very wobbly!

I have spent hours every single day (and night) just gazing at you and I do believe I kiss you more than a thousand times a day. You are so soft and so chubby and I can't help it!

You adore your big brother. ADORE him! You will just sit and watch him like he's the best thing since sliced bread! You laugh at him all the time. I'll just be driving and you two are giggling away in the back seat and I have no idea what about!

You smile with your whole body, just like I do. You have two cute little teeth now and they make you cuter!!!

Honestly, I can't imagine my life without you. You are such a precious joy in my life.

Sigh.

I cannot stop thinking about you and I'm tempted to lean over your crib and just kiss your face all over...but that would be silly!

I cannot wait to watch as you grow into the man God made you to be. I pray you are as gentle and loving as I can already see you are now.

Please never stop letting me kiss you!

Your "love-is-bursting-out-of-my-heart-mama"