BC

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm hoping it's not the shot of BC I got in my arm that's making me feel a little depressed and crazy, and more the lack of sleep or the vast amount of things I have to do overwhelming me.

Seriously though, I've had a rough time with birth control. The 3 years I was on it were horrible and very crazy. I got off of it to get pregnant with Barclay and after I had him, I was already wanting another baby (sort of holding on to the hope that maybe my second baby wouldn't make me sick). After Sullivan was born I was 99% sure I was done done done. I was so traumatized by the whole experience that I promptly sold all my maternity clothes on craigslist and decided to give all except a very few special pieces of clothes away. But every day that has gone by has really made me realize more and more (and forget more and more the awful sickness) that I want one more baby. Boy or girl. Doesn't matter.

BUT, I am very sure that I want to give my body a good 2 years to get well and healthy before the next baby comes along. I feel like getting pregnant right now would 1.Stress my marriage to the max. 2.Kill me. 3. My children would have to go live with their grandparents. So I decided to do the IUD. That didn't work out so they removed it and gave me the Implanon shot. I got it a week ago and I have had a really hard week since then. A hard time getting out of bed (granted both my children have been up all night and not napping), I've been really irritable and snappy:-( and I've had a really hard time staying motivated.

Sigh. I'm going to give it a few weeks more but if I still feel this way, I'm going to trust the Lord and take it out and maybe try natural family planning (which is hard to do when you are breastfeeding and not having your period).

I believe God has a plan and will give you a child whether or not you are on Birth Control in His perfect timing(as many of my surprised friends have found out!), but I don't want to be irresponsible when I just don't think that getting pregnant again so soon would be good for our family.

I feel like I have only 2 options.

1.Be on Birth Control and have my mental problems return and ruin relationships

2.Possibly get pregnant and have my sickness return and ruin relationships.

What to do, what to do...

What Not to Wear #3

Wow! Iy busy week last week but I still have a lot more people watching pictures to post!

Enjoy!

Honey, I don't think the phrase, "I can still fit into clothes I wore in middle school." works here.

Adorable couple.dress. and boots!

Santa came a little south!

This lady had craaaazy pants...

And a feather in her hat.

This guy's hair was cracking me up!

Mr Jamacian tourist showed up too!

I thought this lady on the right was SO beautiful and feminine. I rarely see people with hair that long, that it actually looks that beautiful!

Old timer. So cute!

And his wife dressed to match:-)

This guy was cracking me up.

I thought this girl looked so cool in these overalls.

Bright red pants. I thin I would like them if it wasn't paired with Tie Die.

Some crazy shoes!

Cute little juggler man.

Lounging in your overalls! I thought is position was hillarious! Like a sexy sunbather!

Sequined visor anyone?

I loved the girl in the fore ground, and when I uploaded my pictures I noticed the treasure of a guy behind her! :)

I hear, "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin" echoing in my head when I look at this picture. Sword and the Stone for sure!

I thought this lady looked so cute with her red boots!

Another skirted man!

Someone had very hairy legs...me!

Sporting the overalls and the fanny pack! Fantastic!

More to come!

Thought Process

How in the world did my grandmother do it with four kids under five...?

Well she didn't have facebook so she had a lot more time.

But she had to use clothe diapers for all of them! And not the good ones either. Oh my word there must have been so many dirty cloth diapers. How did she do that?

How did prarie women do it? They had to make a fire and cook everything. Everything must have been so hard!

Oh my word, grocery store trips for my grandmother, how did she do that with four kids?

Well at least there were no car seats to have to buckle and unbuckle all the time. That's one of my worst parts of motherhood is buckling the car seat.

How did she do it without blogs and facebook to make her feel connected to the world? The world outside of constant housework and dirty cloth diapers? Oh it would be so boring and so mindblowingly hard with out an outlet to quickly type..."I'm going nuts because my baby wont stop screaming!" All the encouragement I can get in a matter of minutes from women who have been there and done that and survived.

Sometimes I wish for the simple times back in the 60s when I wouldn't have so much to overwhelm me, but after this thought process I am 100 percent glad I don't live back then. I will take the dresses though. I love me some pretty dresses.

What Not to Wear #2

Here are a few more people watching moments for your viewing pleasure!

Probably my favorite of the weekend. This nice, normal looking woman was walking, then turned and...BAM yoda?!

Funny hat kid.

Once I made sure this guy wasn't dead, I took this picture. Strange shirt.

Loved this old timer decked out in his overalls and chillin.

This little girl had it going on!

Brocaide butterfly vest anyone?

I love that if someone from NYC would come here, they would think this outfit was strange, but it was perfect for where he was in the hills of WNC.

Skirted men where spotted everywhere. This one did all sorts of dancing and juggling.

Well this happy girl thought she'd get a tan while she walked around.

I don't know if the dress is too low in the back or if her underwear is too high...

The british celebrating the Royal Wedding in style.

I thought this girl had the prettiest hair and I loved her flower.

Haha.

Complete with heels and everything. Just what I was about to wear to a hot, rugged, outdoor music festival. I think it's Lady Gaga...

Much more to come...

Gradual Decline of the Diaper Bag

I've really noticed the gradual decline of my diaper bag this go round.

I think it's really comical.

Your first outing (usually the pediatrian's office a few days after birth) you meticulously pack that diaper bag with every thing you would think you could maybe need. 2 extra outfits, pacifiers, 2 burp clothes, extra socks...all kinds of things.

A month later you find yourself packing diapers, wipes, and an extra outfit. You figure you can use the underside of your shirt to clean up spit up if it so happens (or maybe this is just me).

A month later you find yourself carrying around a grocery bag with diaper and wipes in it. Nothing else because you figure they can just go naked if they happen to ruin their clothes (and you can bet on it the first time you don't pack an extra outfit).

Then you start carrying the diaper and wipes.

And today I got down the the bare necessities by carrying just one lone diaper with me. And when Sullivan had a blow out...I proceeded to use my creativity and wash his bottom off with the melted ice from my Large to go glass of water from three days ago.

Am I the only one here? Or is this normal?

What Not to Wear #1

It's that time of year again! Time to post pictures of the interesting people I had the pleasure of viewing this week. Unfortunately with a nursing baby and a crazy 2 year old, I wasn't always able to grab my camera as someone strange looking walked by, but I managed to get quite a collection. I'll have to do them in different posts because I got so many this year! I was very sad not to capture the glory of the bearded mountain man proudly sporting a shirt covered in cats that read simply, "I (heart) cats". Sad day!

Enjoy!

end at Merlefest.

I wonder if his beard ever gets zipped up in his pants?

I loved that purse!

I thought this little elfin creature was pretty cute!

Matchy matchy!

I thought this girl was so classy and beautiful!

Who doesn't love a tshirt covered in machine guns?

Way to be at home in your surroundings! Wear bedroom slippers!

I thought these girls were adorable! They were rocking the belly dancing skirts:-)

Check out that hair! That is a man, people! I literally ran with my 16 lb "newborn" to get this picture.

Fanny pack. Check. Elephant shirt. Check.

Cute little girl who was claiming her princess status.

This dude thought he was hot stuff. He was surrounded by 5 giggling middle school girls though.

Stay tuned for more!

Sarah Robbins!

Sarah Robbins,

Please add me to your private blog! I cannot find you anymore and I miss reading your posts! I tried to find you on fb but after several hundred sarah robbins I gave up.

Love Helen Joy